it kindda hurts. and hell it hurts to feel this way. it's like, when I see, the emotion of hate engulfs me. kind of takes me away from reality for a second, when I think of things that could've happen, that should've happen, but then of course I need to take a stand. couldn't follow what my heart says that much, can I? because most of the time, feels like my head can't control situations such as this.

sometimes, I think of it as killing loneliness. because, well, it's right there. it's like buffet left on the table but you can't get to it. It's like heaven is right in front of you, but as you run, the distance lengthens. I'm not quite sure why I act as so. maybe because i'm baring my soul, maybe because i'm pining for the sun. i'm not sure of the feelings I have right now. I was so sure before; confident that it was going to happen. then it all went to black. but now, as said, I see. and suddenly it pains me. the first time that i've kept too quiet for my own good. I don't know what to say anymore, I'm not sure of how to act. I'm so angry, yet so embarrassed.

truth is, at the end of the day, I sorta hate you.

just not as much as I hate myself.

it kindda hurts. and hell it hurts to feel this way. it's like, when I see, the emotion of hate engulfs me. kind of takes me away from reality for a second, when I think of things that could've happen, that should've happen, but then of course I need to take a stand. couldn't follow what my heart says that much, can I? because most of the time, feels like my head can't control situations such as this.

sometimes, I think of it as killing loneliness. because, well, it's right there. it's like buffet left on the table but you can't get to it. It's like heaven is right in front of you, but as you run, the distance lengthens. I'm not quite sure why I act as so. maybe because i'm baring my soul, maybe because i'm pining for the sun. i'm not sure of the feelings I have right now. I was so sure before; confident that it was going to happen. then it all went to black. but now, as said, I see. and suddenly it pains me. the first time that i've kept too quiet for my own good. I don't know what to say anymore, I'm not sure of how to act. I'm so angry, yet so embarrassed.

truth is, at the end of the day, I sorta hate you.

just not as much as I hate myself.